chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
