I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
