Kiss
Puke
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
