She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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