I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
