I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
