my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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