if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
