I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize