Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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