hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
