my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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