Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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