Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
