My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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