Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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