You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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