WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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