I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
