New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
