is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
