Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
