Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
