youre lurking in front of me
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize