I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
