and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
