Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Farmville is her only friend.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
