the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
