handjob tips. give me some.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
