Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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