I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
