So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
