there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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