Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
