you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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