so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
this just has baby written all over it
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
