Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
