you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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