i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
