I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
