I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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