Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
