Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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