Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
