i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
As shirtless as possible
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
