I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
