I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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