At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i came on her dog
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
