if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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