I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Randomize
