he wants to bone in the snuggie
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize