I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
sex in a hospital.. check
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
