Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
