found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
