omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
