Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize