now i know why i became what i already was.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
