I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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