i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
