you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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