I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
