maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize