Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i would punch a child for taco bell
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
