I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize