I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
