I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Life without a bra equals bliss.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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