All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
