What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize