You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
