ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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