on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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