Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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